I'm hoping this response finds you alive and holding on because this "question" reads a little like a suicide note.
I know first hand how detrimental parents' words can be to a child. Your life is less about a curse and more about mental, emotional, and verbal abuse, which are just as damaging as physical and sexual abuse.
When we experience severe traumas in our life (abusive parents and going to war) we can, and do, suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD can lead to severe depression, addictions to self-medicating substances, and extreme personality changes.
Please don't give up and especially don't give up on the VA. They've been in the news A LOT lately and they are under a lot of scrutiny so now might be the best time to get yourself back into the VA and ask about medications and therapies for PTSD and severe depression.
Please keep me updated on your progress and I'll keep you in my thoughts and conversations with my Lord and Lady.