You shouldn't pay a lot of money, or even a little money, to anyone to help make magickal changes in your life. The kinds of changes you are, and will be facing, take time, patience, and a whole lot of courage and determination.
There are no spells for time traveling or erasing the past. But you might want to look into spells like health and healing, emotional healing, strength and courage, or even protection or self binding. These spells could help you deal with many of the traumas I'm sure you have experienced.
You might also want to look into alternative healing therapies such as gemstone healing, Reiki, spiritual counseling, or yoga.
Good luck honey!