First and foremost, my heartfelt sympathies to you and your family.
Grey feathers are usually messages from the Universe, so in this case I feel as if it's your aunt saying "I'm ok!"
Samhain is a time for honoring our ancestors and those who have passed through the veil and celebrating the life they lived here. I lost my twin brother over twenty years ago, and I still honor him every year. Here are a few suggestions you might want to try:
- Prepare their favorite meal and set a place for them at your dinner table. When you are done eating, place the plate of food outside for nature's animals to enjoy.
- Write a letter to them and burn the letter with some lavender. The smoke will carry your message to them.
- Hold their picture in your hands and talk to them as if they are standing/sitting right next to you.
- Grab two glasses of wine (beer, shots, etc.) and make a toast to them.
- Write on a taper candle all the things you loved about your aunt and light the candle to honor the life she lived. Once the candle is about to go out, say your goodbyes.
There is truly no right way to perform something like this. It's all about what makes your feel comfortable and comforted. No matter what you decide to you, allow yourself time to mourn.